|
FUNNY SCHICHT
LEVIATHAN
ME
Index
Songs
FAVORITES!!!
Miscellaneous(the
sanctuary)
| |
Guild Wars Account
OH YEAH IM TOTALY ADDICTED TO THIS GAME CALLED GUILD WARS. its
this mmorpg which stands for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. the
only problem is that for some unknown reason about 11:30 at night every one on
the west coast suddenly logs off. now there are many people that have theorized
of about this event. (and i swear to god it does happen) one of the most disturbing
theories I've herd is that the Japanese with there superior game coding abilities
have secretly rewritten part of the code so that it sends a subliminal message
to any one who plays the game that they must log of at exactly 11:30 and then
log back on at 6:17 the next evening. not 6:15 or 6:20 but 6:17. so when I heard
about this i had to check it out. the next night when 11:30 came around i was
going to stay online. no matter what.
so the next night i get on at 11:15. and i socialize with various people on the
digital realm. its 11:25 and iv seen a few people log off here and there but
nothing really big such as the mass exodus that was rumored to occur at 11:30.
its 11:29. suddenly i break out into a cold sweat and my cursor begins to make
the long journey to the menu screen to commence the log out. I tried to stop my
self but i couldn't it was as if of its own volition my hand went through the
process of logging out. quickly looking around for something to stop my self. I grabbed
the only thing in reach... my stapler. As fast as I could i flipped the head of
the stapler into the up right position as you would do to staple something to a
wall and like a Celt charging naked into battle i scream some mindless gibberish
and swung my stapler like a mace crashing into my hand... I scream like a girl.
but my hand had stopped just short of the log out button and lay immobile on my desk
curled up like a dead spider. I look up at the clock and its 11:30.... I look
back to my screen. and then all at once the fabled mass exodus of guild wars occurred
and I was left alone in the great vastness of the digital realm. it was quite.
there was no one. no people arguing about the worth of various items on the
trade channel. no one advertising a guild thats recruiting. Not one person
asking stupid questions about whether or not he should get the sword or the shield.
No pathetic losers running around naked pretending to have oral sex.... then all
of a sudden a character appeared before me. and as i high light him with my cursor
to discover his name. very strange text appears before my eyes. at first it
thought it was Japanese so I ran to my book shelf and retrieved one of my old
high school text books on the Japanese language and found nothing resembling the
language written here. for one fleeting second I thought i might be aliens to
shower us in there infinite wisdom, but alas no. it was not to be. he then began
to speak to me in this odd language of his and soon more of his kind appeared before
me. I said nothing being unable to make out this new form of communication. then
all of a sudden the started talking vary fast and forming lines in the way a battalion
of troops would form up. and then last of these strange people logged on and as
he did every one else came to attention and saluted him. he was a great warrior.
His armor was like the deep black of space and his helm was like a great horned
beast. then he spoke to me... and to my surprise in English. he said" who
are you?" and i replayed that I am an American... and at this there was a
great many murmuring and mutterings and babblings in the group but he silences
this with a wave of his hand. he then replied "We are Korean...we all are Korean"
i stood in silence as the shocking truth of the horror lay before me. who we
thought were are allies in the great or for supremacy of the digital realm where
actually are enemies they had been playing us the entire time. a rage was
building in me that I had never felt before. a rage that was so great that I
felt as if I would explode and the resulting blast wave would cause the Himalayas
to collapses into dust. with a mad cry of rage, anger and other emotional
feeling of stuff that i dont quite understand and will not go into. i knocked
him to the ground. and as he lay there dazed and confused i raised my sword to
the sky and screamed "WITH THE POWER OF THE ANGELS OF JUSTICE I SMITE THEE
AND SEND THINE SOUL TO THE PITS THAT SPAWNED THOU!" and i brought
down my blade of justice striking him in the belly. He screamed and screamed and
screamed and as he scream his fellows tried to revive him. but the great cookie
in the sky had smiled upon me that night and deemed that no monks be present to
heal there leader. when he finally died a black mist left his body and it felt
as if the digital realm was as it should be. a place where ppl could go and have
fun bunny bashing with there friends or barter for better weapons and armor with
the higher level characters. and then one by one the Korean solders looked at
me. I knew I was dead but i didn't care i had saved the digital realm and my
life meant little compared to the well being for the common net surfer who
wanted to by a car on Kriegs list. they charged at me and I began the battle.
Hundreds fell before me if not thousands but in the end they managed to get me
and as a sword pierced my armor and I fell to my knees. looking up at the
digital sky with the digital sun on my face and the bodies of many a Korean
slain around me with I my dieing breath I screamed " AMERICA FUCK
YEAH" and died.
-St. Mike Mavor Angelus Judicar
10:4 Angels of Justice Year of the Spider 2005 C.E.
|