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G-nome Projekt! |
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Eh so last article was ..........not funny at all seeing as how I told you most of it already. So Here is the newest article.....its right here. Yea thats it folks, I just wrote a bunch a words saying "here's the article" and now you can go home....no ok here's the article. Saturday June 5th 2049, the year of our lord. As time has gone on nations have risen and fallen but the one true nation that still remains is Canada. Which after so many years of oppression have finally become a unified empire. Their name.....C.A.N.A.D.A. which stands for Confederation of the........forget lets just continue. So the president of this newly formed nation is having trouble with the political affairs overseas. It was just another day for Noam Litman I. Ruler of the Northern Hemisphere. Servant: Sire it seems that the tensions between France and Germany are comming to the breaking point. Noam: Well that sucks for them why should I care? Servant: well first off Germany is not allowed to have an army and second off their leader is Bitler whose the new dictator of the nation. Noam: *grumbles* cant we just........nuke em? Servant: sire you used half the nukes on Russia because you said it was getting in the way of your map reading. We just cannot afford it. Noam: HEY that Geography quiz was very important to my understanding of politics and besides........IT WAS DISTRACTING ME! Who did you say the dictator was? Servant: Bitler.......Hans von Isteinsbergen die hausen David Die reichen die aleg giegen Bitler. Suddenly the childhood memories came back of a mad raging boy dictating his evilness in a hotel in San Franciso holding a wooden sword. DONT QUESTION IT BITNER! Noam: Get me .............the red phone! The political advisors and joint chiefs gather around the oval office waiting for WW3 to happen. The admirals were making bets with the Generals and the Generals with.......ummm themselves. and they were all jumping up and down praying for war. All that didnt matter now to Noam. All that matter is that he got his daily coffee. *ring ring* went the red phone in Germany. A gloved hand picked it up and Bitler answered. Bitler :Alo? Kufkzuakekameiokok okonkwo oonta........wait wrong language. hold up a sec. ACHTUNG DIE AN KAFKEIN DIE AMERICAN!> UBERMENSCH ZEUNT DUFU ZIET GIEREN! Noam: Hello Bitler....yea I am fine? how are you? Bitler: ALACHT DIE UNZIE UFUEREN KLOGSTEIN UN DIE EUROPIACHNA! CHACKNIEN NIEN DIE KOMMT ZE GIER? *pans to Noam's phone* Noam: I'm afraid not Bitler you see your my enemies right now.....yea yea I dont like it either. .........Nah its alrt Bitler will figure it out.........no.......no I dont want you to take over England they're the only reason I watch Monty Python....France? sure go ahead...(Political advisors shake their heads vigorously in disapproval)...O I'm sorry don't do it.......yea NOO! DONT DO IT BITLER!. Bitler........come on don't be an asshole. NO I don't want you mobilizing over the Rheinland. NO I said no.........and NO IS FINAL........BIT--I SWEAR IF YOU....... DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT BUTTON OR WELL COME OVER THERE AND......o.......o I see........its your mom's birthday and you want to give her a present? .......sure go ahead.......WAIT NO!. BITLER THAT IS IT. WERE COMING OVER THERE! On June 6th 2049 Noam mobilized the largest Amphibious landing on Normandy........again.......however on the way some V-boats sank the landing boats so not everyone made it. They're called V-boats because.......well V comes after U. So the Canadians invaded.......it was all bloody lots of ppl died. Bitler ..ended up sending sending Germans to death camps.....and then well Noam arrived at Berchtesgaden when the war was over. Noam:Bitler I told you.........(smacks Bitler in the face) NO MORE WARS. God this is the umpteenth time. Bitler: Then why is it WW3? I mean...AHEM KRIEG NACHTEND ENVIENZE VUTEN VUTEN DREI!? Noam: Cuz we lost count after 52390293. Are you ever going to learn? Bitler: ACHTENNAUTEN EINE DIE ZWEI DE HAUSEN VRIE UNFE DEIN UN LIBREACHTEN! Noam: Ok well I've had enough of your yelling. YOU DONT NEED TO RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME. no no more treaties no more peace talks.........were settling this the old fashioned way. Through a game of Twister. *TWISTER THE HOT SPOT!* Bitler: GASP! ALCHEN DIE UNZEIFERAEIN VAGANE! Noam: no Im not going to play connect four with you Twister or death. So Noam and Bitler played twister and do to Noam's liquid body he won and had bitler promptly shot for being a nusiance to the world. although a few days later the Americans started a revolution and well the whole American history started over again except they beheaded Noam. His last words were. " NO I SAID LET THEM EAT CAKE..AND ICE CREAM AND ICE CREAM! NO NOT THE RANCOR NO!" and so Earth was doomed to its dying days of anarchy........the end. |