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G-nome Projekt! |
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| So I was very bored and I needed a new material for the article. Here its.
There you have it folks the new material now leave!
Revelation: "working out is like having someone dissect you and use his fingers to pluck and snap every muscle fiber in your body without anesthesia. However at the same time it is also like taking a cold shower on an extremely hot day.......satisfying"
The Death of Rose It was just a normal day for me everything had been going smooth. The sun was up the sky was clear. No bad grades no complaints not worries or anything. This was truly summer.......in march. So I figure it is time to practice the bass. I held Rose to me close telling her that I love her when I noticed something was different........she was out of tune. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I applied the tuner.....she wasn't tuning. I took her black and chrome body and put it in my car. I drove as fast as I could to the hospital. When I arrive I screamed for a doctor. A Dr. by the name of Laser, came to my aid. " Dr. Laser please help me! My Rose she's dead or dying I DON'T KNOW WHICH! She needs medical attention RIGHT NOW!" Dr. Laser came rushing forth using his walkie talkie to tell the ER to prepare. "show me son what is wrong with her? Is she breathing? are her eyes dialated? Tell me!" I open the car door and bring her out showing him. Dr. Laser stops and thinks what part of his higher functioning brain has just been insulted. "Please you have to help her! I need electricity one of those shocker heart thingys!" "Son you wouldn't happen to take any medication would you?" I stand up and glare at him all tears aside. My eyes become black soulless pits which is not far from what they are now. I grab Dr. Laser and say " YOU HELP ROSE NOW OR SO HELP ME ALL THE ANGELS OF HEAVEN WILL EAT YOU ALIVE IN A FIERY PIT OF WATER AND OIL! MAGMA WILL CONSUME YOUR FLESH AND YOU WILL FOREVER KNOW PAIN AND SUFFERING!" The Doctor just stared at me. "son go home........just go" I new I had no other choice.....I played my last resort card. "If you don't help me Dr. Laser. I'll CUT YOUR FUNDING AND SEE THAT YOUR PH.D IS BURNED IN THE FIERY PITS OF MOUNT DOOM!" "NO PLEASE NOT OUR FUNDING! NO I BEG YOU ANYTHING BUT THAT PLEASE NO!" Two minutes later we are in the ER room where a team of hydrogen powered doctors awaited to use their hydraulic arabian magic to resurrect my love. "0101010101000001111111111000101010101" Said one of the doctors to the other. This was obviously from what I understood some old form of Elvish. I couldn't understand it. I sat there and watched as my arabic brothers prayed to Allah for my love's safe return. or the third Intifada. I really don't know seeing as how I can only speak English a language much more sophisticated with it's commas, periods, forms of grammar and the all un explainable squggily line ~ WHAT IS IT USED FOR! So the Doctors took a hacksaw, car battery, Titanium wires, and an electrified spork, to my Rose and they worked. For four years I sat there waiting and then they came up to me telling me that it was only 4 minutes. Rose awoke in front of me. The first thing she said to me, or rather, sang to me was "A" and I wept and held her. I promised I would never let her go again. I would always make sure she was in tune. The Doctors told me in their elven tongue that it was a bit of dust in the pick ups that made her sound out of tune. Then they gave me a fruit basket as a gift. I assume this is only customary on planet Hydro. They then departed in their Cold Fusion pods and left planet earth forever. Then Dr. Laser came up to me and told me everything was ok. I couldn't thank him enough I was at loss for words. he then told me that I would probably need to go to an institution and well now I am here. Writing this article in a cold padded room. At least Rose is alive and well. O yea just to add on to the story I'm in the room next to Hannibal. Yea we're good friends now. Life could honestly not be better.
I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!! (o_O)
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