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G-nome Projekt! |
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So finals are over and I can now sleep right and eat right. I can finally look at the sun. Well no I can't because that would blind me. Of course going blind would not be much of a loss because my eyes are already messed up. So I have come to realize that the bay area has not very many places to go to except A. the movies B. The cinema and C. THE THEATER! D. Borders and all those shops right there. O parties don't run rampant here and if they do occur they are usually not that fun. The best one I have been to was actually a non-alcoholic one. To protect his name were going to call him John. L. So some of you may say there is the mall. Well I am not a shopping person and the closet thing I do shopping wise is for books and food. I rather despise the mall because of the unspectacular things that happen there. I was once at a mall and all I remember is spending my time at target waiting to go home. Yes I was with my mother and the only thing I got out of that whole long boring ordeal of shopping for clothes was Pizza. Now this was good for me because it WAS lunch time and as a human being my body told me I was hungry. O you dont get hungry at 12? You don't eat lunch? Well that would explain why the doctor threw away your health bill because he obviously doesn't have the time and energy to treat a patient who is already going to die. So getting back on topic after another two paragraphs, I have come to realize that the bay area does not have much to offer compared to other cities I have been to. Vancouver. O wow Vancouver was amazing. They had harbors, navy ships, penthouses, a great view of the...harbor. O ya also the city at night. It looked like the city they show at the beginning of each Fraiser episode. With .....a harbor. I remember that summer the only CD I listened to over and over again was 27 Ghades of Shay. .....14 Shades of Gray blah blah I was obsessed with that CD. Even when I got sick of it I still listened to it. It was like a heroin addict who has just died of and Overdose getting back up and begging for more. Yes....it was that bad.....or that good? Now here in California San Francisco was eh alrt. The only reason I go there is for the Metereon and the Car show. Every time I go there I encounter a small diner that is set in the 1950s style. The following scene happens. ME: You Garsun.......or w/e. 'EY ESE! DUDE WITH THE FUCKING CHEFS HAT ON GET OVER HERE! Waiter: Can I help you Assss-sssir. ahem Me: yea I came here to eat. So lets get the burger and fries and coke. *grabs the waiters shirt* Dame de comida.......carron. Waiter: Y-yes s-sir. *leaves mumbling something about Mexicans* Me: HEY Ese ..........first off I'm not Mexican second of all........ummm YOU SUCK! Waiter (turns around): You ought to be nicer to people you know it'll get you farther in life. Me: Second I'm American I am exempt from all niceties, manners, and moral human justice. In other words the infidel. *diner goes quiet* Waiter: Do you have something against Americans sir? Me: I am American and the only grudge I have against this world is society. I have looked into all of you in this diner and you are all guilty of the same crime. Waiter: That is.......? Me: THAT YOU DID NOT SERVE ME MY FOOD WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE! NOW YOU WILL SUFFER MY WRATH. Waiter: By any chance are you hyperglycemic cuz that would explain alot? Me(in rage): ENOUGH OF YOUR PETTY LIES TIME TO PASS DOWN JUDGMENT UNTO THEE! *whips out M16/Gl-50 (In other words the gun from Scarface)* Me: SAY HELLO TO MY.......*sigh in realizing the cliche in this* fine.........*click click* (ratatatatatatata! The people run away in terror. Some people try to flee the diner but they are all brutally riddled with bullets. The carnage is to gruesome to describe. Noam has snapped. The only one left standing is the waiter in fear and terror he tries to run but Noam grabs him and takes a butterfly knife and stabs him in the hand pinning him to the counter.) Waiter: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW AHHHHHHHHH! THE PAIN! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! Me (takes out a C4 explosive): Garsun you look like a strong fellow. You look like you work out. So here's something for ya, this C4 weighs about 8lbs. By itself that is nothing, try holding that for 10 minutes straight without letting go of the fuse...thats a real work out. Waiter: No.......don't leave me like this! DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! NO! (Noam walks out of the Diner to the cool San Francisco air and the entire SF police force.) Waiter: NOOOOOO! (Diner explodes) Cop: PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! Me: All those who are guilty, rapists, murders, drug dealers, they will come to know me.......Noam Litman is no more. Call me.........the Castigator.
Cop (puts gun down with a messed up look on his face): Dude castigation....is just another word for Punisher. You really have no ideas left do you? *Noam looks around* Cop: ya know what I don't even think your worth booking........dude maybe should we should just shoot you as a favor to society. *turns to chief* Can we kill him? Chief: Well this is his 40th Diner and he is armed and dangerous. The law says we can take this into our own hands. We are the law. Me (looks around frantically.): O shit....... *Noam proceeds to flee on foot but the entire police force open fire. Noam is dead before he hits the ground. The world wept in joy as the terror that had plagued their pathetic world for 6000 years was finally over. The clouds parted and the sun shined bright in the sky like a jewel. San Francisco was once again sunny and warm. The evil, however, that lived in Noam's blood drained from his body into the sewers only to manifest itself in an Alligator. Terror would rise again) This is my normal day in any city but Sunnyvale. Now I am through typing because telling great stories such as these is very draining. They say the greatest writers get the most tired easily, but the greatest of them all cannot finish a sentence in a day. This article took me 7 years to write with little or no sleep now I have finished AND NOW I'M GOING TO BED! |