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G-nome Projekt! |
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NERD CONVENTION EXTRAVAGANZA!!!! THIS MONDAY FROM 7:00 A.M- 9:00P.M. Its all talk about all nerd! Cascade 3 Doors down. There will be a White Toyota Previa minivan and a small plot of grass. Ask for the name Merrit. Food and drinks will be served! First come first serve!
Chris woke up on Any given Sunday ready to start his day. "Today I'm going to go see Stealth!" Said he and he jumped out of bed. Chris threw on his shoes and grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone. Walking into the kitchen, he heard from behind him a loud yelp. "Christopher hun you have no pants on!" Chris looked down and suddenly realized he had shoved his keys, wallet, and phone up his anus! After realizing this the door bell rang and Chris' mom opened the door. Chris' mom: Hey umm....who are you guys? isnt it a little early for halloween? Chris I think you're friends are here!........yea! Chris: WHO IS IT! (as he struggles to put his pants and remove the objects from his orphice. Chris' mom: I think Its Alex and Chris.........or Noam and....Mike? umm well all I know is that they brought over some of their friends. Chris comes to his mom at the door and he looks out over the crowd of nerds. Chris: mom who are these people these aren't any of my friends. Chris's mom: We'll tonight is your night to make dinner and you still have to clean your room. Why is it that you spend so much time with your friends than with us your family. Why not spend time with Scott a little? No thy're not comming over until you and dad have a had a little talk about your essay for that scholarship to Stanford. Chris: mom .....these arent any of my friends. I don't like you none. (long silence) suddenly a shout from the crowd..."we heard there was free food and there would be girls." After a long stutter from chris, someone from the back dressed in armor points to the sky and screams "NAZGUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1" The Lord of the rings fans look to the sky frantically Nerd#1: I CAN'T SEE HIM WHERE IS HE!! Nerd#2: He must be flying in the clouds! Trekkie#1:There are no clouds he must be cloaked! Trekkie#2: THE BORG! Star Wars Fan#1: A ship that small with a cloaking device! Impossible! Star Wars fan#2: YOU AND ROGUE SQUADRON WILL ALL DIE! Amongst all the Chaos and bickering of what the hell was going on... Chris:.....what in the sam fisher.......? Suddenly, Trekkie#3 pulls out what seems to be a Matel phaser "HES GOT A PHASER!!!!!!1111 RUN INTO THE COMPLEX!!!!11" With in moments Chris and his mom are pummeled by 300 nerds of all obsessions. Luckily standard nerds weigh no more than 80lbs...unless your on the metric system...of which does not apply to this article at all....and with the added weight of their costumes, they weighed around 574576 kilos.....hehehehehehehe With the house filled with a cartoon like bulbous, Chris crowd surfs franticly to the xbox. WHen he finally gets in front of the TV there is a round gap and he falls into the middle of a circle. Around the circle sit in twelve chairs the heads of each nerd category. There is the Star Trek nerds, the Star Wars nerds, the RPG nerds, the Lord of the Rings nerds, Halo nerds(1&2), gaming nerds and right beside them in a subcategory the Everquest Nerds who rule, have the 2/3rds majority vote, pokemon nerds, science nerds, comic nerds, computer nerds, Chess nerds, and then there was a newly recent addition, the Chronicles of Riddick nerd. He wasn't very much understood amongst the other nerdlings so as the confrence commenced each category introduced themselves. (Long introductions about how they are the best some in l33t others in Kilingon or Cardassinese or in Elvish.) Finally it came to the Chronicles of Riddick Nerd. Riddick Nerd: well....welll....I saw pitch Black when I was 7 and then I became fascinated with the whole Chronicles of Riddick universe. I know everything about the Furions the Necromongers and on Star Wars Galaxies I have a lvl 37 Quasi Dead. He's got Necromonger powers with a levl 87 Scepter Staff of light and ....... MasterChief Nerd: thats........enough....... Riddick Nerd: no theres so much more, have you ever wanted to see Crematoria? or the Deep Spice mines of aligula? Chronicles of Riddick is making its way into our world! Master Chief Nerd: thats not...going to happen....... Chris standing up wondering what the hell is going on. He decided to back away and watch what was to unfold. Lord of the rings fan in gandalf suit: ENOUGH OF THIS TALK THE RING MUST BE DESTROYED! Frodo Fan:GANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFF! With that the gandalf fan towered over the Riddick fan in his chair. The room dimmed and everyone went silent. Gandalf fan:DO NOT TAKE ME FOR A CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS!.........I AM NOT TRYING TO HELP YOU! I AM TRYING TO ROB YOU! Lord of the rings fan secretary: Umm sir thats not how it goes. Gandalf grabs his staff and looks the Riddick fan in his beady little eyes. Riddick fan:(shaking) No no please I know my category is a little new but please give it a chance no! Gandalf fan raises his staff. Gandalf fan:YOU...........SHALL NOT...........LIVE! Gandalf secretary:....forget it. With one fell swoop of the staff he impaled the Riddick fan through the chest. Blood spilled all over the floor. Chris: DUDE NARLY! O wait shit.....I have to clean that up. Chris's dad:(back from the Tour de France.......in Sweden) Christopher........ya know what I left for my bike ride and I asked you to clean this mess up. I asked you to scrub this floor with a tooth brush and then take Jordy out for a walk. Chris: Scott was supposed to do that. Chris's dad: No I specifically asked you to do that. Christopher don't argue with me you're grounded no more video games. Tell all your friends to go home! Chris: FOR THE LAST TIME THESE AREN'T EVEN MY FRIENDS! *ding dong* Chris opens the door and the Harry Potter fans arrive. Chris:No.........go away no more nerds in my house just leave. Star Wars Fans: HEY the Harry Potter fans arrived! Harry Potter fan#1: HEY EVERYONE WE GOT THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK! The Harry Potter fans sit down on Chris' couch and they begin to read as if the book it self were heroine. They cannot take their eyes off the page. All sounds and ambient noises and sights are drowned out from their minds. They become stautes....only the books end can bring them out of their hypnosis. Chris: Ok ........every right the hell now get out of my house. Mike: Dude........I heard there were some Gurps players here.........I need to be find them they have the fiftieth edition. Chris: MIKE HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?!?! WHY IS EVERYTHING NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!!!!!!!!! WHY! Noam: What is it Chris? Chris: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Noam: Say it....... Chris:.........no Noam:SAY IT!!!! Chris: ITS SO CR-AZY! Noam: I'll take care of them......... Chris mind is too burned up with processing on what is going on. His brain cells cannot account for two things at the same time. From such a surge of information he faints. After about 2 hours Chris opens his eyes. His eyes focus on the ceiling and then he remembers what happens. He bolts up in his bed and looks around his room. His comics are gone.....his game boy and laptop are gone. Yet everything is still intact and in a neat orderly fashion. Chris rises from his bed and looks around his house. Noam is painting one of the walls. Chris: Noam.......what are.....what happened? Noam: Its cool dude they all left. I told them not to bother you anymore. Noam looks down at a bundle of sheets by his feet and quickly covers up what looks like a hand. Chris: Where are my parents? Noam: Well after a talk with them they are out shopping. Chris: I where is my stuff? Noam:Its in the garage I put all the stolen stuff in the garage. Chris heads over to the garage and notices how everything is so clean and the carpet is new and the chairs are bright green again.....something is odd. In the back og Chris' mind the words "murder cover up" popped up but he quickly put these thoughts aside. He found his X box in a box and the moment he lifted it up a white powdery substance flew up in his face. He inhaled it and after a few seconds everything became twisted and dark. He started to hallucinate. Juice started to drip from the ceiling. Chris scream at the top of his lungs. His childhood nightmare became a reality and he tried to run back inside the house. A huge pitcher grabbed him and he screamed even louder. This pitcher was the Kool-Aid man. Chris: (whimpering) No.....Noam? Kool-Aid guy: NO! KOOL AID!!!!!!!!!! Chris: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kool-Aid: O YEAH O YEAH! |