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G-nome Projekt! |
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Ch.1 Sounds of gunfire in the background guys guts just hanging out of there stomach’s…men on the ground screaming “HELP ME HELP ME I CANT FIND MY GUN…oh wait its in my ass” this is the great story of Canada vs. Switzerland. No one knows why the war started, it just happened, one day Canada woke up and Switzerland the entire nation was crammed into this kids home…they all had potato wedges and were eating them right in front of the little kid…the kid wanted some so bad SOOOOO BAD but he realized he was strapped to the bed posts. The crunchy and mushy sound was so unbearable…the kid couldn’t take it anymore “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” THE KID SCREAMED and within a blink of the eye, the kid had torn the metal welds off of each other and was soon swinging them around madly…the boy killed the entire nation of Switzerland in five minutes………………..or did he Ch.2 On the boat from Switzerland to Canada It was a good thing the war started when it did in the year 200 ABD(after the great Bush’s death), crossing the Pacific Ocean only takes ten minutes. Switzerland has always been the quiet nation with the small cop cars that couldn’t catch a golf cart with a low battery and four flat tires…but their weaponry…well that sucked too…BUT THEY WERE GREAT WITH BLENDERS. There greatest weapons on the field included a cat and a blender, some men would upgrade to the new 60 horsepower eggbeater with enough power to run a mini cooper. When the men parachuted out of the boats and came down on Niagara Falls, the Canadians were waiting under water in Speedos with 50 caliber rifles. The switz men came out of the sky with a pack of kittens and a blender holstered on their sides. “wow Jim they look like flying ants eh?” said one Canadian soldier. Soon enough gunfire was underway, but the switz men were too stealthy on the field for the Canadians. The switz would come up from behind the the Canadians, go in-between their legs, come up and grab their lower jaw ripping it off their faces and blending them into a mush for kittens to eat. Now we don’t know what it is about Canadians lower jaws but kittens get a natural PCP kick out of the malt beverage and immediately attack anything it can sink its claws into. Usually the kitten would burrow deep into the esophagus and start eating the tongue out down then the small intestines then eventually come out of an oraphis that the anus used to originate from. Soon the sides were equally matched…the Canadians had fled back to base camp to think up a new strategy while prop mounted kittens carried the switz to a safe location deep beneath the earths core. |